Month: May, 2012
Dear Mak & Liv:
I’m going to be direct and to the point here. I’m not going to use fluffy words and I’m not going to be relaxed. ‘Cause I am sick and tired.
I’m tired of girls trying to be sexy. Sexy is for marriage. Period.
You are not sexy. You are not hot. You are not all that.
You are a daughter of the Most High King. You are royalty. Royalty has the great responsibility to represent. Represent your King. Don’t forget it.
I’m grateful that you know these things and you do keep them in your heart. Mak, I’ve heard you say that you don’t ever want to have that affect on a boy – the things that happen when certain things are worn. Don’t ever forget that value.
Represent, girls. Represent.
I have journals and books and scraps of paper with things my girls have said over the years. I’m so grateful that I do.
Here’s what she said today:
Livy: “Mama, what is a Saduccee?” When I peaked around the corner to answer, I saw her sitting in the big chair with her Bible. She nine. I didn’t tell her to pick up The Book. In fact, I didn’t even know she had gotten out of bed yet. Do you know how happy all of that made me?
Mak: “You know,” as she’s browsing itunes, “I just don’t understand why someone would choose the ‘explicit’ version of a song if there’s one that isn’t ‘explicit’ available.” She’s 15. I love the way she thinks. ******LOVE*******
There is a phrase used most often by me in our home: Live for an audience of One.
Behind that is a sincere desire that those living under this roof with me, really live for Jesus. Really and truly know what He desires for each of us………know how He wants us to move through this world and how He wants us to impact it. I sincerely desire that for myself and my family.
It is not easy. No it’s not. Why, you ask?
Because that’s not the natural state of my heart. I’m beginning to think that it’s not the natural state of anyone’s heart.
I’m at home today rather than attending the last field trip of the year with Livy. And I feel guilty about that. In my heart, I know that my time as her mama today is best spent here at home, preparing for the weekend, the summer and spending quiet time reflecting on the year. If I were truly concerned only about what my Lord thinks, I wouldn’t feel guilty. I’d be excited to be alone and with Him. I’m going to fight against the guilt today, looking heavenward for grace and love.
I started thinking about how well I’m doing living for an audience of One and teaching my girls to do the same earlier this week. Awards and accolades and honors were flowing like a river like they do at the end of every school year. And one of my girls said, “I didn’t get that award”. That made me so very sad. And if I’m being honest, I got all caught up in thinking about the same thing.
When I take a step back and think clearly, I know the truth. The truth is that all of the achievements and awards do not matter to that audience of One that we live for. He knows the hearts of all. He knows that I’m jacked up and so are my children but He also sees that we adore His Son. And that’s what saves us.
The comparing and wondering and striving is all for naught. It will soon pass away. And if I don’t continue to fight against it, I will have wasted valuable time that could have been spent loving and serving.
Comparing is evil. Do you hear me, mamas? Do you hear me little girls? It’s evil. We must stop. We must.
Let us cast our eyes on our King Jesus, let us love one another, let us marvel in His glory, let us listen to the birds chirping, let us find a cool place to rest with those we love, let us serve those who need Him, let us be content, let us run from comparing our lives – our children’s lives, let us breathe deeply, relax into Him and live for an audience of One.
Dear Mak & Liv:
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I’ve seen reference to it everywhere. The world is reminding us that we need to celebrate! Buy something. Do something. Go somewhere.
Did you know that my favorite Scripture is Romans 8:1? I survive on that verse.
I tell you that because I fall into this trap of believing that in order to be a good mama, I need to do some things. Lots of things.
Organize all of your schoolwork, make sure that you always have sharpened pencils, feed you healthy food – not processed, GMO food, make crafts with you, take you to see art – provide you with culture, laugh with you, cry with you, listen to you, teach you all that you need to know about being a young lady, teach you housekeeping things, encourage you to excel academically, get you the lessons you need – the music ones and the athletic ones, instill values into your heart, take you on vacations.
Oh sweet girls, the list in my brain goes on and on and on. My brain churns and churns and is never satisfied with my performance. Never. Some nights I plop into bed and think to myself did I play enough? did I ask all of the right questions? was I too harsh about this or that? was I too short? did you get enough protein from your food today? did I? did I?
It is exhausting. It always has been. Until recently.
Until recently when I found the right question. Why did it take me so long to find the right question? All of that fretting and worrying about my failure and the right question made it all go away. It’s gone! The questions and the wondering.
This, my girls, is a gift!
The right question is this: what does God expect from me as a mother? Isn’t it glorious? Freeing?
It’s lovely to do the craft and bake the cake together. It is! And my heart adores it. However………He doesn’t expect that from me.
He expects that I talk with you about Him - as we walk along The way. He expects that I plaster His goodness on my heart and talk always of His goodness and His grace and His mercy. Talk about Him!!!
When I asked the right question I had to tell myself something that is very scary for me. Strange, but true. I had to tell myself that I’m doing it! I AM DOING IT! There is no perfect so I cannot say that I’m doing it perfectly. He is part of this home, though. He is part of my speech everyday. He is in my problem solving. He is in my advice giving. He is in my decision making. And I’m not quiet about that. I tell you so! I do! I do!
So girls, when there is something in life nagging at you, remember two things. 1. Romans 8:1 – it’s engraved on my heart – engrave it on yours. It’s all because of Jesus. Whatever it is………look at His name and know that you are not pronounced guilty! and 2. Ask the correct question of yourself. It makes all the difference.
Overwhelmed by how I love you,